Aggressive vs. Assertive

“The purpose of life is a life of purpose.”

~Robert Byrne



1. characterized by or tending toward unprovoked offensives, attacks, invasions, or the like; militantly forward or menacing: aggressive acts against a neighboring country.

2. making an all-out effort to win or succeed; competitive: an aggressive basketball player.

3. vigorously energetic, especially in the use of initiative and forcefulness: an aggressive salesperson.

4. boldly assertive and forward; pushy: an aggressive driver.

5. emphasizing maximum growth and capital gains over quality, security, and income: an aggressive mutual fund.



1. confident and direct in claiming one’s rights or putting forward one’s views.

2. given to making assertions or bold demands; dogmatic or firm.

Recently, it was brought to my attention by an agent that they had a hard time with asking for a decision. They didn’t like the thought of being aggressive or to pushy when working with a customer. They struggled with asking for decisions or for the  business. They said: “I don’t want to be forceful.”

I pondered this for a moment and realized that part of our job is to ask questions and move our clients towards a decision. How do we accomplish this? For starters, if you really understand what your value is and how much you are worth per hour, based on a dollar average. I think you will find yourself acting not in an aggressive manner but more from an assertive standpoint.

Your time merits something. You have to make the decision how valuable your time, knowledge and experience is worth. A professional knows exactly how much they are worth. They understand that the only way that they are compensated is when a transaction comes together and a closing takes place.

The goal should be to work with multiple buyers and sellers. Always looking to keep the ‘popcorn popper full of seeds and popping’. That is your objective.

Sure from time to time you will do the ‘pro-bono’. That should be the exception, not the rule!

There is a need to lead your customers and clients. Not force them to do anything but most certainly ask open ended questions, always peeling back the layers of the onion. Then removing the barriers along the way that keep them from making decisive, timely decisions.

The only way to accomplish this is by being assertive. Not aggressive but assertive. Firm but not pushy. You have to be confident in your line of questioning, dynamic in your responses and firm in your resolve and decisive when you need to take action when asking (there is that pesky word) for decisions.

Aggressive sales behavior only leaves the client feeling that you are working solely on your behalf. While assertive sales techniques leaves them with the impression and sensation that you are working on their behalf and only have their best interests at heart.

Use assertiveness to get the job done!

Thanks for allowing me to rant…

“Our care should not be to have lived long as to have lived enough.”



About Lance Berwald, Coldwell Banker Burnet

I am a real estate aspirant and scholar. Always seeking to learn more about an every changing world and industry. Come and seek the truth about life, real estate and what motivates us each and every day!
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